EFFECT OF FEAR
Fear fear fear we live in fear different kinds, the scariest one as a foreigner is a way of living. How will you find a job, food, how you will be able to have a roof over your head? How will you get people to accept you? How you will be able to accept them and blend in ?. Fear of trying, fear of change, fear to love even to be loved. Fear to express yourself, to be around certain type of people, fear to get rejected and the list of fear is longer than a cargo train.
What has been my fear and how long I’ve lived in it, it’s been for a long long time I’m talking, about 4 years. Let me tell you I was very afraid of leaving my job, even just trying to think about it was a major depression, then the worse thing in all of this, is trying to consult with my friends and colleagues who thought I was in heaven, which came later to my understanding that I am the only one who can tell if my shoes fits me fine or just fine. It has not been easy living in Greece, it’s not something that started now with financial crisis nooo, this started way back before the Crisis, finding a jobs as a colored person was and still is a big topic, am not sure if the same thing happens in other European countries, you might have all the qualifications needed but one thing will let you down, your color! The employer will choose to stay with the job undone than to employ a colored human being. So the act created a fear in me. I was always thinking and calculating who will employ me anyways! I’m just a Kenyan. I decided to stick to my job no matter how much pain I was going through I was never near a stopping point, you know why? Because I was afraid I was never gonna get another Job. Am sure a lot of people are having the same exact issue somewhere.
Everyone is going through different fear, do me a favor please face your fears. when I said enough is enough to myself back then, I never meant it because deep down I was scared. I had fear of not being accepted into another workplace, despite my qualifications. A lot of us are working hard but half of their salary is going to the doctor, what’s best about that none.
Some of us are afraid to leave that terrible relationship because they fear of being single they want to have someone around them. Women get killed or even men get killed by their spouse because they chose to keep the marriage and are afraid of what people might think.
The worse enemy of mankind is mankind, that moment when your friends, family and even colleagues telling you that you can’t do better than what you are at that time, they are creating a major fear in you, fear of trying to move to another level. I talked about listening to yourself more often in one of my posts, if we start to practice to listen to ourselves more, then fear created by people around us will be 0%. But if we keep thinking of what will the other person say or think of us, then we will have a lot of pharmaceuticals around us.
I used to believe that there is no way I could leave my job and find another one because that’s what I was set to believe in by the way people treat people, but one thing I was certainly sure of is, I’m a hunter I get what I want, I just need to let go the fear in me and walk alone. By the way, fear can make you feel comfortable in some cases when your partner is never around when you need them the most and you want to prove to others that you got it all together, you are afraid of leaving in return to be equal to your friends. You want to be in the circle, you forget who you are and starting to live the life of others.